It's not easy

There is a Facebook Group out right now going around spreading vicious lies. They claim to be Christian and started these lies on Palm Sunday. These lies affect me deeply, and even though they are not true, I have faced criticism because of it. You may be asking yourself, what am I talking about, and how can something not true cause you pain. I am talking about something that causes a mommy war. Something, that some people judge your womanhood on. How you give birth.

This group is saying that C-section moms took the easy way out. They don't care about their babies and CPS should take their babies away. They are saying that if you had an emergency C-section, then you went against God's plan to call you home and when you do die will be tossed into the burning fires of hell.

While they are radical with their views and extremely hateful (I didn't share and will not share their hate talk) there are those who think that a C-section means that you did not give birth. They say your baby was extracted from your body. You never went through labor and or what it is like to push a baby out of your body. Your baby had drugs in it's system since before it was a born, what kind of mother are you?

Yes, I have come across all of that and more. Each time, I  pray that God gives me strength to turn the other cheek and be charitable in my response. To help that person understand that we shouldn't judge or condemn others.

It is not easy, but I do it. Just like my labor was not easy. My water broke too early. I tried my best to labor naturally. I went 56+ hours before I had a placental abruption. My son's heart rate was dropping and I was losing blood was too fast.  Had my doctors waited even an hour longer to "extract" my son, both of us would not be here today. And well, maybe one can say God was calling us home, but I believe that when God calls you home, there is nothing that can be done. No amount of medical intervention will work, because God is all powerful. I believe that God gave us the knowledge and science of doctors to help us. To help find cures for things that are horrible, to make sure that more babies get a chance to live. God gave us free choice. Jesus died for us so that we can live, not only on earth but when we die as well. I believe God gives us things to challenge us, test us and all around give us the strength for something more difficult to come along.

I know that God was watching me and my son that day, and I know that it was not an easy day. It was not an easy day for my peanut, and it was not an easy day for my husband. I am not going to lie, I did have problems overcoming the fact that I had a c-section. I was upset that my body failed me. But, I wear my scar with pride, knowing that I have a battle wound from having to fight for my son.  That being said, I am still a mom, I am still a woman, I just gave birth a different way.


Caio,

The sun is shinning

The birds are singing...
I want to start deep cleaning...
that can only mean one thing!
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Spring has Sprung!

Okay, I  know, I know, I have a few more days until it is officially spring, but, I can't wait. I can't wait to garden, I can't wait to wear sun dresses, and I can't wait for long walks with the stroller and Winston. Peanut loves to look over his stroller at Winston (or Wa-ta as he calls him).  In fact, Peanut loves to do anything outside. Today, he was at the window and pointed outside and said "outside?"

So therefore, with the sun shinning (or not) look for me outside this year. 

Ciao,
 

NF and Motherhood

I have been thinking a lot lately about how my Neurofibromatosis will affect me being a mother. I was very blessed that my NF did not affect my pregnancy with Peanut. Very blessed. I may not be as blessed  with my next pregnancy.

But, I know I cannot think about that. If I do, I start thinking about how I may not be so blessed within the next couple of years. For all I know, I could develop tumors. I could get sick and I could die.

I could spend my time being a mother who is stuck in a hospital bed. I  do not want that. Therefore, I have decided to fight as much as I can. I am going to be attending a Great Steps 4 NF walk. I am going to work on raising awareness and make NF known.

I am asking you, my readers to do the same. Make NF known. Help find a cause. Share my ribbon. (You can grab it on my Neurofibromatosis page). I know together we can find a cure.

Ciao,

Avocado recipies

In our house there is one food that can make everyone (but Winston) happy. That food is avocado. Peanut lights up when he sees me grab one. My husband and I have decided that Peanut's favorite food is avocado. Since he loves it so much, my husband and I have been coming up with different ways to incorporate it into our meals.

There is the ever classic guacamole:

• Grab how ever many avocados you want
• garlic cloves (I use 1 clove for 2 avocados- so grab the amount that you need) 
• Onion (I cut up a quarter of a small onion for 2 avocados)
• Lemon juice
• Lime juice
• dash of salt and pepper

I mix everything together, squeeze half a lemon and lime over the guacamole, mix that and serve.

I also have added avocado to :

• grilled cheese
• chicken salad
• tuna fish
• baked chicken
• turkey burgers
• and so much more. 

I love experimenting with it, and really love seeing Peanut's face when he has some.

Ciao,

Silly Stories

As I sit here, finishing up some lesson planning and making a site words book for some some my students, I can't help but laugh.

This week has been crazy, but crazy good. School was school, my students are wonderful and I feel that I am doing a pretty good job. Can I improve, you bet ya, and I hope that I do improve. I really do.

Home has been fun. My son is walking all over the place. But he doesn't just walk, he runs. He runs fast. He chases after Winston and plays ball and fetch. He loves to run up to Dada when he gets home. It is the sweetest thing in the world to see.

Peanut has not only started walking, but he has a big personality. He says no, stop, isses (for kisses), up, naa( More) as well as the classic Nana, Papa, Mama, and Dada. He loves to eat solid food and does a wonderful job at it.

Now to a silly story. The other day my peanut walked on over to my wonderful husband said isses and stuck his cheek right into my husbands face.

I am a lactavist

I am a lactavist.
A proud nursing mother.

I feel so blessed to be able to nurse my son. There are a lot of women out in this world who struggle to breastfeed and deal with many different emotions over their struggle. There are those women who push breastfeeding, "Breast is best!"  and then there are those women who make the moms who use formula feel bad.

I can't stand those women.

I am a lactavist. I will help a mom who struggles, I will offer support, but I will not shame her is she decides on formula. Why? Because as long as the mom is feeding baby something healthy, it really shouldn't matter.

It is time to stop these mommy wars on breastfeeding or formula feeding, and time to stand together as moms and support each other.

 Ciao,

It is hard

I wrote the following last year

"My little one was born early. 

My little one was in the NICU. 

My little one had to be transferred to a different hospital. 

My little one came home with medical equipment. 

My little one needed help breathing and eating. 

My little one needed medical equipment until he was 17 days old.

My little one was hoovering too close to being too small for my comfort.

My little one is too small for Newborn clothing and diapers

yet...

My little man is a miracle!

He has survived so much, in his short time outside of me. 

He began breathing with out any help,

his liver began to function like it should,

he opened his eyes. 

He is now being alert,

able to eat with minimal help, 

and...

the best thing of all...

able to hold my finger with his little hands. 

He is strong. 

Really strong. 

He is sweet, 

small,

and 

perfect"

Today, I write about our challenges. My little one has come so far in year it is amazing. So, peanut this is for you. 

I spent the first year of your life watching.

w\Watching you breathe,

watching your chest move up and down

watching your weight gain,

watching...

I spent the first year of you life waiting.

Waiting to see if your little body needed a surgery, 

waiting to hear that your weight gain was good

waiting...

I spent the first year of your life praying. 

Praying for your health,

 praying for me,

 praying for you dad,

praying for strength. 

We had so many ups and downs.

 You rolling over,

your problem with an internal organ, 

your first smile, 

colic,

 you giggling,

 your weak immune system, 

crawling, cruising and trying to walk,

 falling, hitting your head and having your first nose bleed.

and now....

I sit, I watch, I listen, I wait, and I pray. 

I pray you better. 

I pray that you are not sick with what I fear it is. 

I am filled with worry watching you struggle, 

and I I hope that you find comfort in my arms. 

Each month was a new adventure. I feel so blessed to have had this crazy whirl wind of a year. 

Mommy notes

Oh motherhood.  I have changed so much in such a short time. Yes I still love to read, bake , and knit. But I also love my son. And I have learned that things on the mommy are not as easy as things seem.

Take feeding my son. For example, Jeffrey is breastfed. He only gets milk from me. Who would have thought how I decided to feed him can cause so much controversy.

Then there are those who don't vaccinate.  You all already know how I feel about that.

There are also people who have issues with circumcision.  Really,  an issue with that. Who really cares.

Just some mommy notes.

Baby wearing

I have decided to do a mini post on baby wearing, with pictures of me and how I wrap my wrap, so I can wear my baby to write these posts. (Wow, holy run on sentence batman)

I have found, being short, baby wearing is a bit of a challenge. I still can't do some activities like cook(I don't want to hurt him with any splatter from the stove) or dishes, because I can't reach the sink. But for other activites, it's perfects. Plus, he loves to nap on me and hear my heart beat.

My wrap is a woven wrap, s it isn't stretchy, but I like that, I feel he is safer and held tighter/closer into me. Now for how I wear him.

1. I grab my wrap and fold in half hot dog style. I find the middle and place it with the folded part down and the opening up on my lower torso.

2. I take the two side pieces and cross them behind me and bring them to the front. I make sure that the openings are facing in toward each other.

3. I then slide the two front pieces underneath the middle pieces. And cross them again, creating a pocket for my son to sit in. (This is very similar to the Moby wrap style, if not exactly how to wrap a Moby)

4. I wrap the two sleeves around me and tie a knot in back. Now for adding my son. I do this from the Molby website I linked about. I practiced and practiced in front of a mirror for a while and even had my husband help me at first. But, for starters, I open the wrap and on the side closes to me, I slide my son onto the sleeve pocket.  (Watch the head. I would do a different hold if your baby doesn't have good head control. My son is resting his head on me while I'm holding him)

5. Then I slide the other sleeve over the one that my son is in, creating a small pocket for him. It looks like a V when he is in the sleeves. 

6. I then pull the middle piece (from the very beginning up over him. So his back has support. I also make sure there is some under his legs,giving them support. That way he is sitting froggy leg style. I also make sure he can breath, so I move his head to where he isn't buried in me or fabric. I make sure that every thing is nice and tight (including the knot behind me, some times I need to loosen it and re-tie it.) and then wear him. 

When he wants out, I lower the middle piece and pull him out. He loves being worn around the house, and loves it when I dance while wearing him.
Ciao,

14.5 weeks

I cannot believe that on Friday, this Friday, I will have been a mom for 15 weeks.  In those 15 weeks, I have learned so much about life. I never knew before that I could function on little to no sleep. But, I can.  And I never knew that I could love some one so much, but I do. My little boy, is so precious to me.  He is adorable, and I  love him so very much.

I can tell that his dad loves him too. It makes me smile when I see my husband and son playing together. Last night, my husband gave him a bath, and you could just tell that both he and my husband were having fun.

Ciao,

A blessed 3 months.

Three months ago today, my baby was born. I don't think I ever shared his birth story. I don't know if I will. The 54 hours that I labored with him, the c-section, the complications that both he and I had...everything, I just feel blessed right now.

I am lucky enough to have a semi-healthy 3 month old. Even with his minor health problems, even though there are times where he is screaming in pain and discomfort, there are times he is smiling. Those times are happening more and more. There are times he laughs, giggles and just seems like the words happiest baby.  There are times where he snuggles, cuddles up close me and holds on to me, never letting go. I know that my baby loves me, and I know that he knows I love him.

Ciao,

What is offensive?

A recent post from a facebook friend got me thinking what is offensive? My friend has been through a lot and her story isn't one for me to share, and yet, instead of showing support, people aren't.

I have always thought that people loved baby pictures and why not, they are so cute. Yet, not everyone loves all baby pictures. So, I am going to share some picutres of my son. These are a bit more on the...graphic, real life, sad, heart breaking side of life.  And to some people, these would be classified as offensive.

 Right before they put in the nasal cannula so he could breath. 

Treatments to help him breath.

His transport to the NICU

Waving around his IVs

Wrapped up in a Bili Blanket to heal his Jaundice

 Can you tell me what picture or pictures could be offensive?  I guess people don't want to see pictures of a baby that isn't healthy. But, not all babies are born healthy, and sometimes, parents need support instead of being told not to share.

Ciao,

I'm a month!

So, last Thursday was my estimated due date. (Jan 30th) I was really hoping my baby would have been born on Feb 2nd, just because I think groundhogs day would be a cool birthday. But, nope. My little man was born January 3rd, making Monday a big day in his life. He turned one month!