Monday, January 19, 2015

I am a lactavist

I am a lactavist.
A proud nursing mother.

I feel so blessed to be able to nurse my son. There are a lot of women out in this world who struggle to breastfeed and deal with many different emotions over their struggle. There are those women who push breastfeeding, "Breast is best!"  and then there are those women who make the moms who use formula feel bad.

I can't stand those women.

I am a lactavist. I will help a mom who struggles, I will offer support, but I will not shame her is she decides on formula. Why? Because as long as the mom is feeding baby something healthy, it really shouldn't matter.

It is time to stop these mommy wars on breastfeeding or formula feeding, and time to stand together as moms and support each other.


Friday, January 16, 2015

It is hard

I wrote the following last year

"My little one was born early. 
My little one was in the NICU. 
My little one had to be transferred to a different hospital. 
My little one came home with medical equipment. 
My little one needed help breathing and eating. 
My little one needed medical equipment until he was 17 days old.
My little one was hoovering too close to being too small for my comfort.
My little one is too small for Newborn clothing and diapers
My little man is a miracle!
He has survived so much, in his short time outside of me. 
He began breathing with out any help,
his liver began to function like it should,
he opened his eyes. 
He is now being alert,
able to eat with minimal help, 
the best thing of all...
able to hold my finger with his little hands. 

He is strong. 
Really strong. 
He is sweet, 

Today, I write about our challenges. My little one has come so far in year it is amazing. So, peanut this is for you. 

I spent the first year of your life watching.
w\Watching you breathe,
watching your chest move up and down
watching your weight gain,
I spent the first year of you life waiting.
Waiting to see if your little body needed a surgery, 
waiting to hear that your weight gain was good
I spent the first year of your life praying. 
Praying for your health,
 praying for me,
 praying for you dad,
praying for strength. 

We had so many ups and downs.
 You rolling over,
your problem with an internal organ, 
your first smile, 
 you giggling,
 your weak immune system, 
crawling, cruising and trying to walk,
 falling, hitting your head and having your first nose bleed.
and now....
I sit, I watch, I listen, I wait, and I pray. 
I pray you better. 
I pray that you are not sick with what I fear it is. 
I am filled with worry watching you struggle, 
and I I hope that you find comfort in my arms. 

Each month was a new adventure. I feel so blessed to have had this crazy whirl wind of a year. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Thing that make me smile

There are some things that make me smile no matter what, and there are days where I need that. The items in my list just make me smile and giggle even if I am having the worst of days.

  1. Baby giggles- it is like magic twinkling bells. Seriously, if you need a laugh or to smile find a baby. 
  2. Baby smiles- they are the same thing as baby giggles only silent
  3. Watching my family play together- this one is especially true when my son and dog play together.
  4. Doggy kisses- come on, if a dog is kissing you how can you not smile?
  5. Being outside- In winter (especially when it is -40 outside) being out in the warm sun after months of staying in is amazing.
and of course seeing this picture of his fear of Santa.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Why morning sickness isn't just morning sickness

I am a survivor, not only of NF, but of HG.

What is HG you may ask, HG is known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and it is a pregnancy complication. When I got pregnant, I know I went away from my blog. I had too, because looking at a computer screen made me sick. Every thing made me sick, which was a symptom of the HG.

HG occurs in 2% of pregnancies and is sadly miss labeled as "Just some Morning sickness" but it isn't. It is more than bad morning sickness. It is characterized by a few different symptoms

1. Extreme and persist nausea and vomiting
2. Dehydration
3. Electrolyte imbalances
4. Extreme fatigue
5. Depression
6. Head aches and confusion
7. Fainting
8. Low blood pressure

There are many different ways to treat HG. Many people know of using Zofran for treatment. I tried it and it didn't help me. I ended up in the ER with an IV. I like to think that the Duchess Kate and I have something in common. We both had HG.

My HG story is a simple one. I have Moderate HG. While I did need an IV a few times, I never needed a Zofran Pump or PICC line. But, I did spend days on the bathroom floor and plenty of days laying in bed. I couldn't move with out getting sick. It was a good day for me when I could count the number of times I puked on one hand. But, it was a bad day, if I was up to two or more hands. It was a bad day when I couldn't leave the bathroom floor. It was a bad day when nothing I ate stayed in me.

If, you or any one you know are suffering from HG, you are not alone. I found this website ( recently and wish that I had found it while pregnant. It provides wonderful information and plenty of resources.  If you have a family member with HG, please be supportive.

Do Not say it is just Morning Sickness.
Do Not make fun of her for puking.
Do Not comment on her looks.
Do Not say she is exaggerating.

Do hold her hair back.
Do support her when she does find something that she can eat.
Do pray with her to have a safe and healthy delivery.


Friday, January 2, 2015

A year in review

Looking back on this year, I can see how things have changed in my life.
2014 was a very exciting, stressful, loving and difficult year. Yet, I wouldn't change it for a thing.

Looking at this blog, I am thinking of changing things around.
I have been very neglectful and that I not what I want. So look for some big, exciting changes in 2015.

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